12 Must-Try Threesome Positions for First-Timers and Beyond

The only snag? Figuring out, practically, what sex with three people actually looks like.

That’s exactly why this guide to threesome positions exists.

Below, sexual-health educators share top threesome positions for oral play, manual stimulation, mutual masturbation, double vaginal penetration, double penetration, and everything in between.

For advice on how to arrange the threesome itself, read our primer — How to Have a Threesome, Whether You’re Single or in a Relationship — then come right back here.

General tips

These five suggestions will help you maximize pleasure, no matter the position.

Keep in mind how broad the definition of a threesome really is

Porn may have conditioned you to think threesomes are only about penetration and double penetration. Let’s be clear: a threesome doesn’t have to include penetration to be a threesome.

A threesome is simply sex that happens between three people, says sexuality, body, confidence, and kink educator Luna Matatas, creator of Peg The Patriarchy.

And that sex can take many forms of pleasure!

It can be virtual, in-person, or a hybrid.

It can involve hand play, oral sex, solo play, or any combination.

It can include vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, both simultaneously, or a mix. And more!

TL;DR: Threesome ≠ only penetrative sex.

Talk through what the threesome will look like ahead of time

To align expectations and ensure everyone has the best time, Matatas recommends asking and answering the following before getting intimate:

1. What turns you on or off?
2. Which barriers (condoms, dental dams, gloves) should we use for which acts?
3. Have you had threesomes before?
4. Which sexy activities are allowed and which are off limits?
5. What’s each person’s desired level of participation?
6. Are some people observing only, or are there limits on who can do certain acts with whom?
7. Any other boundaries or concerns?

Use lubricant!

Quickie threesomes happen, sure. But if you’re scouting a list of the best threesome positions, chances are this will be a longer session.

While it’s well-known that all sex benefits from lube, lubrication is especially crucial for extended play.

The longer things go, the less likely the body will keep producing enough natural lubrication to keep everything comfortable, explains Searah Deysach, sex educator and founder of Early to Bed, a pleasure-products company in Chicago that ships worldwide.

Bringing in purchased lube helps make sure any rubbing stays enjoyable rather than becoming painful from friction.

Don’t hesitate to use toys

“Which toys you choose depends on personal preference and what everyone is comfortable with and willing to do,” says Deysach.

“But toys can expand play options and pleasure, and make sure everyone has something stimulating happening to their body if hands, mouths, and genitals are otherwise occupied.” Noted!

Discuss aftercare needs before you begin

Before the threesome kicks off, negotiate what will happen afterward, recommends queer sex educator Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sex educator for Lovers, an adult wellness retailer and brand.

You might plan for:

1. Who sleeps where?
2. Who cleans toys and sheets?
3. What snacks and drinks should be available?
4. Would any basic first-aid supplies be useful?

Grind, grind, go

Consider this grinding arrangement if:

• you’re worried about pregnancy
• you’re concerned about STIs
• you particularly enjoy external genital stimulation

“Have one person lying on their back and the other two grind on each leg,” says Stewart.

If one or both grinders want penetration, you can add a thigh harness such as the SportSheets Thigh Strap On, which is available online, plus a dildo.

And about toys: the person lying down might use their favorite vibrator or stroker on themselves.

Duck, duck, goose

Hands up if you love manual stimulation.

Try this if your hand is raised.

“Sit in a circle and touch the genitals of the person to your left while shifting your gaze between partners,” says Deysach. “The eye contact intensifies the moment.”

Pleasure tip: Pass around a bottle of lube.

Mutual masturbation

“Masturbating in view of others during a threeway makes sure everyone can get what they need to orgasm,” says Deysach.

“It also gives you the chance to observe how each person prefers to be touched,” which can translate into better partnered play later.

Your positioning options are flexible.

Sit in a row with backs against the headboard and each reach between your own legs.

Sit in a circle in the living room with legs spread.

Or hop in the shower and masturbate together under the water.

Watcher and learn (and love)

The golden rule in threesomes is no one gets relegated to the sidelines… unless that’s what they want.

There are valid reasons someone might choose to watch.

“A threesome in which one person pleasures themselves while watching the other two play can be intensely hot for everyone because it lets people both observe and be observed,” says Caitlin V. Neal, resident sexologist for sexual care brand Royal.

“It’s also a good way for someone to sit out—due to pain, menstruation, or preference—while still participating in the group energy,” she adds.

This setup also works well when two people are together in person and a third is on FaceTime.

Eiffel Tower

“The well-known Eiffel Tower is a favorite for combining penetration and oral simultaneously,” says Neal.

In this arrangement, the person being penetrated bends over—either at the waist or on hands and knees. One partner penetrates from behind while the other provides oral from the front.

“Both receivers should move gently; if both thrust forward at once when a phallus is involved, it can result in deeper penetration than intended,” she warns.

Daisy chain

For a daisy chain you’ll need at least two partners with either a penis or a strap-on.

“You line up facing the same direction so the person in the middle is penetrating one partner while being penetrated by the other,” explains Neal.

That penetration can be vaginal or anal. Lots of options!

Tilted triangle

Also called oral daisy chaining, tilted triangle is the three-person take on 69.

All three lie on their sides with mouths and genitals positioned so you can give oral while receiving it.

“Everyone needs to open their top leg like a clam shell to make their genitals accessible,” says Deysach.

Pop, lock, and lick it

In this setup, one person lies down, one kneels (or squats), and one stands. Ready?

“Have one person lie on their back while another sits on (or kneels over) their face,” says Stewart.

The face-sitter can then use their mouth to orally please the partner standing in front of them.

Pro-tip: Use a positioning chair (available on Amazon) under the face-sitter. These chairs have elastic straps that support the sitter’s body, reducing strain on the sitter’s knees and the sittee’s face.

Front hole + back hole = big O

This double penetration (DP) setup requires two things:

1. At least one participant must have a vagina
2. That person must be interested in simultaneous anal and vaginal penetration

If those are met, have the partner who will penetrate the vagina lie on their back.

The receiver straddles their hips if that penetrator will use a penis or strap-on.

The other person then kneels behind and enters the anus from behind with a penis, fingers, strap-on, or toy.

Basically, it’s missionary and anal-doggy happening at once.

“Double penetration combines the sensations of vaginal and anal sex,” says Neal. “It also stimulates the erectile tissue between the vaginal canal and anus—a lesser-known erogenous area called the A-spot.”

Standing front hole + back hole = big O

If all three of you are strong and mobile, you can adapt the above into a standing version, Neal says.

Have the person doing the vaginal entry hold the vagina-haver so their legs wrap around their waist.

The anal penetrator stands behind the vagina-haver, facing the vaginal penetrator.

“Both penetrators should help support the vulva owner’s body while entering and thrusting,” she advises.

A+ DVP

In case it’s new: DVP means double vaginal penetration.

“DVP gives a vagina-haver a lot of sensation, fullness, and pressure inside the vagina,” says Neal.

“They may also be aroused by the idea of being filled by two phalluses (two penises, one penis and one strap-on, or two strap-ons) at once,” she adds.

It can be stimulating for the penetrators, too: physically, because their phallus experiences the tightness of a vagina plus the feel of another phallus rubbing against it; psychologically, because DVP often involves power dynamics between penetrators and receiver.

“A top position for DVP is having the receiver kneel over one giving partner at the bed’s edge while the second giving partner stands behind,” says Neal.

“This provides both partners vaginal access and lets the receiver control their experience by guiding their hips without supporting their full weight,” she notes.

Fifty shades of power play

Kink-friendly folks, this one’s for you.

“If one person is more submissive, the two dominant partners can co-top them,” says Stewart.

How that looks depends on negotiated boundaries.

“One person might spank the submissive partner while the other uses a flogger,” Stewart says. “Or as one person spanks, the other can sensually touch other parts of their body.”

Post-sex cleanup like a pro

We hold this truth to be self-evident, that wetter sex is better sex.

Yep, after sex—especially great sex—there’s typically a bit of a mess: sweat, lube, semen, squirting, and maybe blood.

So take time to:

• Dispose of any safer-sex barriers.
• Rinse external parts with warm water.
• Wash hands with fragrance-free soap and water.
• Clean your toys.
• Put soiled clothes and sheets in the hamper.

Don’t forget emotional aftercare!

“After a threesome, it’s important to provide aftercare—especially emotional aftercare,” says Stewart.

“That means talking through the experience and sharing what you enjoyed,” she says, and addressing anything that needs to be processed.

You can also discuss whether it’s something you’d like to repeat.

The bottom line

Once you appreciate how many kinds of play can happen in a three-person setting, it becomes clear how many threesome positions exist — as shown by the positions above that you’ll try and enjoy. Wink.