How Do You Deal With ADHD’s ‘Waiting Mode’?

Although not a formal clinical label, “waiting mode” is a frequently mentioned experience among people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). If it’s disrupting your daily life, collaborating with a therapist can be beneficial.

“Waiting mode” describes the state in which someone with ADHD finds it hard to be productive in the hours or days leading up to an important appointment or event. It’s not an officially recognized diagnostic symptom, but many people report it anecdotally.

Clinical studies haven’t directly focused on this specific phenomenon, but this article explores what current research and clinical observations suggest and offers practical strategies to cope with it.

What does ADHD waiting mode feel like?

While there’s no standardized clinical definition, descriptions from people with ADHD show a lot of overlap. Common reports include:

• being unable to book or manage more than one appointment or task in a day
• feeling incapable of starting other activities once one task is scheduled later

Want to get involved?

Researchers continue to examine ADHD symptoms and treatments. If you’d like to help scientists learn more about “waiting mode” or other ADHD-related experiences, visit ClinicalTrials.gov to view ongoing trials and studies.

Discuss any potential trial participation with your primary care provider and/or therapist, particularly if it could alter your current treatment plan.

Why does waiting mode happen in ADHD?

There’s no study that directly isolates waiting mode, yet researchers have investigated how ADHD affects waiting, remembering, and related functions.

Research indicates that children with ADHD often show poorer performance on prospective memory tasks — the ability to recall an intention and execute it later. Over time, this may foster an aversion to scenarios that demand reliable memory.

Those with ADHD also demonstrate lower brain connectivity during rest and higher connectivity during focused activity compared with neurotypical individuals. More recent work, including a small 2022 study, suggests that the discomfort many people with ADHD feel about waiting isn’t simply due to excessive mind-wandering or an inability to delay gratification.

Waiting mode may not stem from a failure of focus but could be an adaptive strategy ADHD brains use to secure attention. If neural connectivity or focus is weaker during rest, shifting into an active state well ahead of time might be a way to avoid forgetting important details.

Someone with ADHD who frequently misses appointments or forgets tasks may learn, consciously or unconsciously, to overcompensate by entering prolonged waiting periods to prevent errors. The fear of forgetting something significant can generate considerable anxiety. Freezing is a common reaction to fear and stress, and waiting mode could be an expression of this freeze response.

Can “waiting mode” affect your relationships?

Yes. Colorado-based family and marriage therapist Chris Muscatello notes that ADHD can create communication challenges when one partner is neurotypical or has a different neurotype.

“Take ‘waiting mode,’ for example. Naturally, it can be frustrating for a partner of someone with ADHD who doesn’t understand why their partner can’t take on other tasks.”

“But when they gain a deeper understanding, they may become more patient and supportive. If you recognize this tendency in yourself, you can request the support you need and explore additional resources.”

To learn more about ADHD’s effects on relationships and dynamics, consider reading related material on how ADHD influences interpersonal interactions, including links to topics like adhd limerence.

How to overcome ADHD waiting mode

Feeling stuck in waiting mode while having responsibilities can be stressful. Working with a therapist experienced in ADHD can help you develop personalized strategies to avoid tardiness or missed events while remaining productive.

Here are practical techniques you can try to reclaim time and reduce stress:

• Self-compassion and acceptance: Recognize that ADHD means your brain operates differently. Avoid harsh labels like “lazy” and allow yourself room for imperfection.
• Plan around your tendencies: If a 2 p.m. appointment tends to trigger waiting mode, schedule important commitments earlier in the day when possible.
• Question your response: Noticing that waiting mode has begun is a critical first step. Once aware, you can evaluate whether this coping pattern is helpful or if another approach would serve you better.
• Use the waiting time well: If your mind prefers to wait, intentionally use that period for relaxation, self-care, or stepping back from constant productivity pressures.
• Build a backwards schedule: If starting a project makes you worry about being late, calculate available time backward from the appointment, including commute and prep needs.
• Leave lists and reminders: Writing things down not only aids memory but creates visual prompts. Keep a running list and add items as they arise.
• Practice time estimation: People with ADHD often experience time differently. Practice estimating how long routine tasks take until your predictions become more accurate. See research on different temporal experience here.
• Set multiple alarms: If alarms soothe your anxiety, use more than one — for when to start getting ready, when to leave, and when the appointment begins.
• Have “side quests” ready: Keep a list of small, deadline-free tasks to tackle while waiting. Organize them by approximate duration so you can pick one that fits the time available.

Keep learning about ADHD treatments

If you’re managing ADHD, there are several treatment paths and tools that can help you build structure. Explore these related resources for more information:

• ADHD Treatment: What Are the Options?
• Therapy For ADHD: What It Is and How It Can Help
• How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Can Help Manage ADHD
• Occupational Therapy for ADHD: Is It a Good Option?
• ADHD Tips for Adults: Self-Report Scale, Next Steps & More
• ADHD Accommodations for School and the Workplace

Takeaway

“Waiting mode” is the sensation of being unable to begin additional tasks or projects when an appointment is scheduled later in the day. It can cause stress and a sense of being stuck. Though not formally defined in diagnostic manuals, many people with ADHD report this experience.

Working with a therapist skilled in ADHD can help you develop more effective coping strategies, and there are also concrete steps you can take independently to improve your time management and reduce the impact of waiting mode.