How Painful Is Childbirth, Really?

Everyone’s birth journey is unique. Pain is a personal experience and can differ widely from one person to another. That means your labor pain may be very different from the stories your mother, sister, or friends have told you.

Moans, screams, and swearing — these are some of the dramatic sounds often linked to labor and delivery.

You’ve probably seen intense birth scenes on TV, or if you’re expecting, friends and relatives may have shared their dramatic birth tales with you. For many people, those stories fuel anxiety about how much discomfort labor will bring.

But is that an accurate picture of childbirth for everyone? How severe will the pain really be? Are there ways to reduce it? Although every birth differs, below we offer information, practical tips, and strategies to help you feel ready for the discomforts of labor.

How painful is childbirth?

It helps to remember that childbirth pain is generally manageable, and there are both medical and non-medical options — from medications to visualization and massage — to ease it.

Contrary to dramatic online videos, pain can’t be measured by a single objective instrument. In the 1940s, researchers experimented with a device called a dolorimeter, which used heat to try to quantify pain.

That approach fell out of favor as researchers found that pain is influenced by more than a physical stimulus. Your fears, mood, memories, personality, and the duration and context of the painful event all shape how you perceive it, as the growing evidence shows.

During labor your care team will probably ask you to rate your pain on a scale. They’ll talk with you about how intense it feels and how confident you are in coping. That helps them recommend suitable pain-relief choices.

Pain during labor isn’t necessarily steady — you’ll often have breaks between contractions or while pushing. You may notice pain intensifying after your water breaks or as labor speeds up, and some types of pain are short-lived while others may persist briefly after delivery.

When you think about labor pain, remember it has purpose: it’s expected, comes in waves, and plays a role in bringing your baby into the world.

What does giving birth actually feel like?

Expect a range of sensations in late pregnancy and through labor.

Late in pregnancy you might notice Braxton-Hicks contractions, which are typically irregular and sporadic. They’re usually felt across the abdomen and cause tightening and discomfort rather than true pain.

Unlike labor contractions, Braxton-Hicks don’t grow more regular, stronger, and longer. (If Braxton-Hicks are bothering you, try drinking extra fluids, changing position, or resting on your left side.)

Early labor

In early labor, contractions begin to intensify and occur more often, settling into a predictable pattern.

These early contractions often make the abdomen feel firm. You may also experience a dull ache in your lower back, abdominal and pelvic pressure, and sensations similar to strong menstrual cramps.

Contractions at this stage might last 30 to 45 seconds with several minutes of rest between them.

Active labor

As labor moves forward, contractions can feel as if they’re encircling your body from back to front. You may notice cramping and leg discomfort as contractions become more frequent and near a minute long.

Around 8 centimeters dilated, you might have only 30 seconds to 1–2 minutes between contractions as you approach the pushing phase. During this period it’s common to feel lightheaded, nauseated, or to have hot or cold flashes.

Pushing

When you’re fully dilated (about 10 cm) and it’s time to push, you may experience intense pressure that feels like needing to have a bowel movement. That sensation is your body signalling it’s ready for you to assist in delivering your baby.

During pushing you’ll usually be told to push with the peak of each contraction. Because you’re actively pushing, many people find these contractions less painful than the ones that dilate the cervix.

Other uncomfortable aspects can include an episiotomy or tearing, muscle fatigue from pushing, or side effects from medications used during labor.

What can you do to reduce pain during birth?

If you’re anxious about labor, there are steps you can take before and during delivery to lessen pain and increase the likelihood of a more positive birth experience.

Before giving birth

Exercise regularly

While you may need to alter your usual routine, keeping active during pregnancy is beneficial. Regular exercise helps manage blood pressure, mood, and weight, and it conditions your body for the demands of labor.

Attend a birth preparation class

Knowing what to expect can help you relax and feel more in control. Most birthing classes teach comfort techniques you and your partner can practice ahead of time. You might also consider classes on newborn care or breastfeeding.

Maintain good nutrition and take prenatal vitamins

Feeding yourself well supports your baby’s development and gives you energy for labor.

Encourage optimal fetal positioning

Labor tends to be easier when the baby is in a favorable position. If your baby is breech or transverse, consider measures to encourage them to shift before labor begins.

During labor

Pain management during labor is a personal decision. You can try any combination of the methods below.

Breathing techniques

Whether you follow a specific breathing pattern or use gentle vocalizations during contractions, paying attention to your breathing can help you cope with pain.

Water

Even if you don’t plan a water birth, taking a warm shower or bath can ease labor discomfort.

Being in water has been shown to be particularly helpful in the first stage of labor, reducing both pain and anxiety. If you have a handheld shower, directing warm water to your lower back can feel especially soothing.

Massage and counterpressure

Various massages can help during labor. Foot, hand, back, and shoulder rubs may be comforting. A 2010 study reported that a 15-minute massage each hour during labor reduced pain and was linked to shorter labors.

Perineal massage can also prepare and protect the perineum for stretching during birth.

Many people appreciate firm pressure applied to certain areas to offset labor discomfort.

Music

Music can lower stress and blood pressure and boost mood. Does it help with labor pain? Yes — a large meta-analysis found music interventions eased pain and anxiety during labor.

Visualization or hypnosis

Guided imagery, hypnosis tracks, and mental visualisation techniques can relax birthing people and reduce perceived pain.

Movement

Walking, rocking on a birth ball, or slow dancing with your partner can help labor progress and relieve discomfort.

Trying different positions — sitting, standing, or squatting — may also lessen pain. One study found squatting offered the most pain relief, but you should explore what feels best for you.

Hire a doula

Research indicates that having a doula at birth can improve outcomes. A doula can assist with positioning and counterpressure, suggest comfort strategies, advocate for your preferences, and support you throughout labor.

Looking for a doula? Start here.

A TENS unit

Some people find relief by using a transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) unit on the lower back during labor. (Some hospitals offer TENS units for laboring parents to borrow.)

Aromatherapy

If you’re nauseated or anxious, essential oils like peppermint, lavender, or citrus may offer comfort.

IV narcotics

Intravenous narcotics provide temporary pain relief similar to some effects of an epidural but for a shorter period. As with epidurals, they can cause nausea, headaches, drowsiness, and the medication can pass to the baby.

For someone seeking a brief break from intense labor sensations, IV narcotics can be an attractive option.

Nitrous oxide

While commonly used in dentistry, nitrous oxide is less frequently employed for childbirth in the United States. It acts quickly to reduce pain and anxiety and clears from the body faster than narcotics.

Nitrous oxide has been used for more than a century and is generally considered safe for both parent and baby. Its availability varies by facility, so check with your provider.

Epidural

The most frequently used pain relief in U.S. births, an epidural can reduce pain within 10 to 20 minutes. Most hospitals offer epidural analgesia, and you can ask for one if your pain becomes hard to manage.

Most parents who get an epidural report feeling pressure rather than pain afterwards, and many can even rest between contractions.

Risks include a certain type of headache, potentially more difficult pushing, temporary numbness in the lower body after birth, or reactions to the medication. Many people feel the pain relief benefits outweigh these risks.

Takeaway

There’s no way to predict exactly what your childbirth experience will be like. Even subsequent births can feel very different from earlier ones. Preparing ahead and using comfort measures during labor can reduce pain.

There’s no need to be terrified of giving birth. Though it’s called “labor” for a reason, millions of babies are born every year. You aren’t alone — your provider can work with you to ensure you have the medical and non-medical pain-relief tools you need to manage contractions.