Everything You Need to Know About Oral Sex

Oral sex means using your mouth to stimulate a partner’s erogenous zones. Certain techniques, plus clear communication, can make the encounter more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Don’t worry — even if it’s your first time, you’ll probably do fine. But we want you to be more than fine, because life’s too short for mediocre oral.

If you’re going to go down, you might as well do it well. Here’s what to know about giving and getting oral sex, along with practical tips and fun details in between.

Let’s clear a few things up

Before diving into specifics, let’s cover some basics.

Oral sex is real sex

Ignore any outdated claims about what counts as sex. Penetrative sex isn’t the only legitimate option. Oral sex can be just as pleasurable — sometimes even more so — than intercourse.

Your body is one of a kind

Genitals come in many shapes and sizes, so don’t waste energy comparing yours to others’.

Vulvas rarely resemble a perfectly ripe peach, and penises aren’t typically the size of an eggplant emoji or entirely smooth.

Everyone has an odor

You can scrub, but you’ll still have some natural scent down there. That’s normal. That said, freshening up before oral sex is considerate.

To stay fresh:

• Take a shower or bath, or at least wash the genital area with soap and water.
• Use a damp paper towel or unscented wipe if you need a quick refresh.
• Avoid perfumes or deodorants on the genitals — they’re unnecessary and can irritate.

Everyone has a taste

No one’s genital fluid tastes like cookies and cream. We all have a flavor. If you’re healthy and hygienic, you should taste fine.

If you’re concerned about an off taste, dietary tweaks may help. Avoid garlic, onions, asparagus, and cabbage, which are reported to negatively affect flavor.

To potentially sweeten the taste, try eating:

• pineapple
• papaya
• nutmeg
• cinnamon
• celery

No pregnancy risk, but STIs are possible

Oral sex won’t cause pregnancy, but oral STIs are a real possibility. Any skin-to-skin genital contact or contact with vaginal, penile, or anal fluids can transmit infections.

There’s also a small chance of passing an STI to a fetus if oral sex occurs during pregnancy.

STIs that can spread via oral contact include:

• gonorrhea
• chlamydia
• HSV-1 and HSV-2
• syphilis
• HPV
• HIV

Some oral STIs may be asymptomatic, but symptoms can include:

• sore throat
• open sores or warts in or around the mouth and throat
• swollen lymph nodes

Include oral screening in routine care

If you’re sexually active, regular STI screening matters — and that includes oral exams.

Your dentist can check your mouth for sores, lumps, or other signs that could indicate an STI. Oral checks also screen for oral cancer, which certain HPV strains can cause.

See a doctor or dentist at least yearly for screening, and contact your provider promptly if you notice unusual oral symptoms or suspect STI exposure.

If your partner has a vulva

Common questions

Do you really flick the clit? You can. Gently flicking the clit with your tongue can add variety and heighten pleasure. Think playful puppy tongue on an ice cream cone — not a woodpecker at work.

Should you insert your tongue or avoid penetration? That’s up to the person receiving. Some people love tongue penetration, while others get more sensation from focused external stimulation. Follow their cues.

What about when they’re on their period or pregnant? If both partners consent, it’s fine. Expect more mess, so concentrating on the clit may be preferable. Blood can have a metallic taste and odor; a dental dam can help if you’re squeamish.

For practical guidance on safe oral practices like using barriers, see this helpful piece on healthy sex oral sex with a condom.

Technique

Try this approach:

1. With your tongue flat, make long, lapping strokes over underwear until the fabric — and them — is damp.
2. When they’re ready for skin contact, spend time on the fleshy mound above the clit and the inner thighs.
3. Place your wet tongue flat at the base of the vulva and glide upward; repeat.
4. Flex your tongue and use the tip to trace tiny circles over the clitoral hood.
5. Gently pull the hood upward with your fingers to expose the clit and use the tip of your flexed tongue with light pressure, increasing speed as they like.
6. When you find a rhythm they love, maintain it to carry them over the edge.

Positions

You can adapt many sex positions for oral, but to avoid neck strain, try these:

• Lie Back and Enjoy: They lie on their back with a pillow under their hips and legs apart while you lie or kneel between their legs with your face at their vulva.
• Total Control: You lie on your back and they straddle your face, facing you so they control angle and pressure.
• Almost 69: They straddle your face facing their body, allowing for some mutual attention and potential 69 action.

Safety and cleanup

The best barrier for oral on a vulva is a dental dam — a thin latex sheet placed over the vulva.

You can buy dental dams online or improvise by cutting a condom or using a latex square.

Wash up before and after with soap and water or gentle wipes, and you’re set.

If your partner has a penis

Common questions

What if they’re uncircumcised? Technique isn’t much different. If starting with a hand job, let the foreskin move. When ready to use your mouth, gently pull the foreskin down to reveal the head.

Do you have to deep-throat? No — only if you want to. Not going deep won’t ruin the experience. You can simulate depth by placing the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth and using suction without triggering a gag.

Spit, swallow, or avoid ejaculate in the mouth? Discuss preferences beforehand. You never have to do anything you don’t want. If visual finish is erotic for them, having them finish on your closed lips, chin, or somewhere you’re comfortable can work.

Technique

Try these moves:

• Use the tip of your tongue to glide up and down the base of the shaft, circling the head occasionally.
• Give attention to the underside of the shaft and lightly flick the frenulum — the skin seam where shaft meets head — with your tongue.
• Lap the full length with your tongue and repeat. Bonus points for audible enjoyment.
• Hold the base, take the rest into your mouth, then slide up and down while softly sucking.
• Increase pace as their excitement builds.

Positions

With imagination, oral works in many positions. Try these:

• Open Wide: You lie with your head near the bed edge while they stand with their penis over your mouth.
• Sit and Suck: Either they sit while you kneel between their legs, or you sit while they stand with legs on either side and you lean in.
• Laidback Lovin’: They lie on their back; you lie on your side using their torso as a pillow to work with mouth and hands — great for lazy mornings.

Safety and cleanup

Flavored condoms are an easy way to cut STI risk while making a blowjob more pleasant taste-wise.

Showering beforehand and a quick wipe afterward handle cleanup.

If your partner wants a rim job

Common questions

Aren’t you going to get feces in your mouth? It’s possible. Cleaning with a soft cloth and soap and water usually removes residual fecal matter.

What about hair back there? Not a problem — unless they prefer grooming. Either way, it’s a personal choice and not a barrier to giving oral.

Should you penetrate with your tongue? Only if you’re comfortable. You should never put your tongue anywhere you don’t want to. If penetration is desired, fingers or toys can be used instead.

Technique

Try this sequence:

• Start by kissing and licking the butt cheeks.
• Rest your relaxed tongue just below the anus and slowly lap up and down.
• Point your tongue and trace small circles around the opening, gradually increasing pressure and speed.
• If agreed, gently insert a tongue, finger, or toy into the anus for penetration.
• Continue using your tongue on the cheeks or perineum until they’re satisfied.

Positions

Doggy style is a popular position for rimming. It gives you control over pressure and movement.

Have them on all fours while you kneel behind; they can rest their head on a pillow and raise or lower their hips to meet your mouth.

Safety and cleanup

Dental dams, oral condoms, or a cut-open condom can all serve as barriers for safe rimming. Keep nails trimmed and hands clean if using fingers around the anus.

A thorough wash with gentle soap and water in the shower is typically sufficient, though the recipient may use an enema if they prefer.

Afterward, consider rinsing your mouth or brushing your teeth, and wash your hands and face.

General tips

With the techniques covered, here are final pointers to elevate oral sex.

Ask your partner

Questions are essential to making sex better. Always get clear consent before starting.

Asking what turns them on can be part of foreplay. Check in during oral play to confirm what feels good.

Use your breath

Warm breath hovered an inch above the skin can feel incredibly arousing. Let your breath tease to build anticipation.

Make some noise

Vocalizing your enjoyment — moans, slurps, little sounds — enhances the experience.

Lock eyes

Eye contact while going down is intensely sexy and helps you read their reactions to your technique.

Use your hands

Don’t neglect your hands. Spread the labia for access, stroke the shaft while tonguing the head, or stimulate other spots simultaneously.

Explore other zones

Incorporate your mouth, hands, or toys on other erogenous areas during oral play to heighten pleasure.

Add lube

Your mouth is naturally wet, but lubricant can be a welcome addition. Flavored lubes make oral sex tastier and can improve hand or toy play.

Edge for intensity

Edging — taking someone to the brink of orgasm and pausing — is a powerful tease that can make the eventual release much more intense.

The bottom line

Oral sex can be rewarding for both giver and receiver if you embrace it. Leave inhibitions at the door and don’t shy away from a little mess — it’s often part of the fun.