How to Have Great Sex with a Smaller-Than-Average Penis

Things to consider

Is larger always better? Sure — if you’re talking about an extra-large ice cream tub. When it comes to penis size, though, not necessarily.

Size doesn’t equate to ability in the bedroom. Besides, who decided sex revolves solely around penetration? Anyone with a penis — whether biological or store-bought — can thrust in and out of a hole. Big deal.

That said, if you want to make the most of what you’ve got — however that measures up — some positions allow for deeper penetration than others. Below we’ll explore those, along with additional tips to boost your overall sexual experience.

What counts as “small”?

According to the latest study of over 15,000 participants, the average flaccid penis length is 3.6 in (9.1 cm) and average erect length is 5.2 in (13.1 cm).

Worried about how you stack up? Don’t be. While 15,000 is a large sample, it’s tiny compared with the near 3.9 billion males worldwide.

If you’re having penis-in-vagina sex

Position makes a big difference when deeper penetration is desired. Remember, the vagina has fewer nerve endings than the clitoris, so depth shouldn’t be your sole objective.

Below are positions to experiment with that can increase depth during P-in-V sex. We’ve included options for different comfort and experience levels so everyone can enjoy.

A leg up

This pose clears the legs for full contact penetration and gives both partners easy access to the clitoris for added pleasure.

Have the partner with a vagina lie on their back and drape one leg over their partner’s shoulder. The penetrating partner straddles that leg and enters.

Placing a pillow under the hips can help lift the vagina for easier access.

Doggy style

Doggy style remains popular because it enables deeper penetration plus an enticing view.

The partner with a vagina gets on all fours while their partner kneels and enters from behind. For increased depth, the receiving partner can lower their chest and head toward the bed while arching their back.

Vulva on top

Often called “cowgirl,” this begins with the partner with a penis lying on their back while the other partner straddles them facing forward.

This can deliver very deep penetration, and the partner on top can keep the penis inside by using grinding or side-to-side motions instead of purely up-and-down thrusts.

Bonus: Grinding close up also provides simultaneous clitoral stimulation.

Face to face

A position that brings all the hot spots together, allows for intense eye contact, and includes kissing — yes, please!

For this one, the partner with a penis sits at the edge of the bed or in a chair while the partner with a vagina straddles their lap. Wrap your arms around each other and grind.

Pile driver

This advanced move requires flexibility and a rug or blanket on the floor.

Start with the partner with a vagina lying on their back and swinging their legs up and back over their head so their feet approach the floor. The partner with the penis squats over them and enters, using a squatting motion to thrust.

The angle this position creates targets the front vaginal wall, where the G-spot is often located. You’re welcome.

If you’re having penis-in-anus sex

A smaller penis and anal sex can be a great combination.

The anus is delicate, loaded with sensitive nerve endings and thin skin. Even a relatively small penis can cause tearing if the area isn’t adequately stretched or prepared.

Always use plenty of lube and proceed very slowly with these positions.

Doggy style

This is arguably the simplest and most beginner-friendly position for anal penetration.

With the receiving partner on all fours, the giver can first stimulate the anus with a generously lubed finger before kneeling behind and inserting their penis.

Plank

Similar to missionary, but the receiving partner lies on their stomach. The penetrating partner assumes a plank position over them and enters from behind.

The advantage here is that the recipient’s legs are straight and flat, creating a snug channel for the penis. The snugness feels satisfying for the giver while the receiver enjoys the full sensation.

Missionary anal

This classic P-in-V posture is also well-suited for anal play.

If you find the right angle, you may stimulate the A-spot. Additionally, the receiving partner can reach down to stimulate their clitoris simultaneously.

Begin with the recipient on their back, knees pulled toward their chest. A pillow under the hips can help elevate the bottom.

Then the partner with a penis positions over them, and both adjust to discover the best angle for comfortable penetration.

Seesaw

For experienced backdoor players, the seesaw lets the receiver take charge of thrusting so they control depth.

The penetrating partner sits on the bed with legs extended and hands behind for support. The receiving partner sits on their lap facing them and places their hands behind, resting them on their partner’s legs.

Anal pile driver

This mirrors the P-in-V pile driver described earlier, but targets anal penetration.

Recap: The receiving partner lies on the floor and brings their legs up and over toward their head. The penetrating partner squats over and enters, using a squatting motion to thrust.

If you’re having oral or erogenous fun

Why relegate oral sex and erogenous exploration to just foreplay? With their intense pleasure potential and variety, these activities can headline the encounter. Tongues, tickles, and toys — bring them on!

Below are positions for all ability levels worth trying, regardless of penis size.

Lie back and enjoy

The receiving partner reclines with a pillow under the hips and legs apart, taking in the sensations and the view.

This setup works for toy play and manual stimulation like hand jobs and fingering, as well as cunnilingus, blow jobs, and rimming.

Butterball

The recipient lies on their back with knees hugged toward the chest — turkey pose. Their partner lies belly-down in front, making it easy to tongue the clit, penis and testicles, or anus.

Doggy

Doggy style does it again.

The receiver is on all fours and the giver kneels behind, perfect for cunnilingus or rimming. You can also deliver a blowjob in this position by placing a pillow between the legs to prop up your head and get closer.

Open wide

This position often best suits oral given to a penis, though with adjustment (like squatting) it can work for a vulva or anus as well.

The giver lies with their neck at the bed’s edge and head hanging back. Their partner stands over them, aligning their genitals with the giver’s open mouth. Teabagging, anyone?

In your face

We’re now in facesitting territory. Some find it claustrophobic; others enjoy its kinky vibe.

The giver lies on their back while the receiver straddles their face. The receiver can face forward for P or V oral, or turn to one side for anal-focused attention.

69

You either love it or you don’t, but the 69 shares pleasure reciprocally.

One person lies on their back while the other positions themselves so both partners are simultaneously attending to each other’s genitals.

If anal play is desired, the top partner should usually be the one to position for the appropriate angle. Feeling strong? Try a standing 69.

Things to keep in mind if you’re less endowed

While there are size-focused preferences out there, most people’s best sexual experiences aren’t defined by size. Chemistry, enthusiasm, and technique tend to be what people remember.

Here are some dos and don’ts for your next session if you’re concerned about penis size:

• Don’t compare yourself to others. Research shows 85 percent of people with penises overestimate average size, assuming others are packing more.
• Do act confident, even if you have to fake it at first. Confidence is attractive; worrying about size will sabotage sex faster than having a smaller-than-average penis. Try positive self-talk and other confidence-building techniques.
• Don’t be shy about toys and props. Not as a replacement, but because varied sensations can be enjoyable for everyone. Using toys can also make you seem confident and skilled in bed — very appealing.
• Do work on hip flexibility. Improved hip mobility allows for deeper penetration and more effective thrusting. Simple hip stretches can help loosen you up.

Things to keep in mind if your partner is less endowed

Penises vary in shape and size, and some are smaller. Here are some dos and don’ts to keep in mind if your partner is on the smaller side:

• Don’t lie. Outside of mutually agreed-upon roleplay, pretending they have a larger penis can harm trust and damage confidence.
• Do be patient. Penis-related anxiety is a real body-image concern. It may take time for your partner to feel secure in their body and with you.
• Don’t fake orgasms. Faking an O won’t solve ongoing mismatch issues. You both deserve fulfilling sex — experiment with techniques and be honest about what works.
• Don’t ask if it’s in. This is awkward and unnecessary. If you genuinely aren’t sure, discreetly check by touch.

The bottom line

A large penis isn’t a requirement for mind-blowing sex; confidence, communication, and openness to experimentation matter far more.

Make the most of what you have: try positions that enhance penetration, focus beyond just thrusting, and consider toys to elevate the experience.