A Guide to Mastering Orgasm Control for More Satisfying Sex

Edging during sex refers to halting stimulation just before orgasm, waiting roughly 30 seconds, then resuming stimulation — repeating this cycle until you decide to climax.

Also known as surfing, peaking, teasing, and other names, edging is the act of preventing yourself from reaching orgasm at the precise moment you’re about to — the figurative “edge” right before the plunge into sexual release.

Although edging is frequently discussed today as a way to achieve “better orgasms,” it actually has a longer history as a therapeutic technique for premature ejaculation. In a 1956 paper in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, James H. Semans outlined the “stop-start method” to help people extend the time before reaching orgasm.

Edging isn’t a quick trick that automatically produces longer sexual endurance or superior orgasms; it’s more like training for endurance. You can’t sprint your way to lasting longer in bed or having a better climax, despite what some practitioners claim.

Viewed more holistically, edging can increase awareness of your sexual responses both when solo and with a partner, bringing an element of mindfulness into sexual encounters.

Orgasms 101: What to know before you begin edging

“Trying things out is absolutely essential for a healthy sex life,” says Liz Klinger, co-founder and CEO of Lioness, a smart vibrator company, to Healthline. She argues that understanding your body’s responses can help reduce the anxiety that sometimes surrounds sex.

When edging, it helps to understand the four phases of sexual arousal. Familiarity with these stages can guide you on when to pause and when to resume stimulation:

1. Excitement. Skin may flush, muscles tense, heart rate rises, and blood flows to the penis or clitoris and vagina. Vaginal lubrication increases and the scrotum withdraws.
2. Plateau. The sensations from stage one intensify. You feel nearer and nearer to orgasm. This is the phase when you should prepare to slow or stop stimulation.
3. Orgasm. A sequence of nerve and muscular events produces intense pleasure, increased vaginal lubrication, and ejaculation from the penis. In edging, this is the phase you’re aiming to delay until you’re ready.
4. Resolution. After climax, tissues return to their resting size and color, and vital signs normalize. This is also when the refractory period begins — a temporary interval during which arousal is difficult. It can last from minutes to days or longer.

The specific sensations tied to these stages differ from person to person.

“Research and clinical guidance indicate that one of the best predictors of a satisfying sex life is to masturbate and self-explore,” Klinger says. “If you don’t learn your body or try different methods, you won’t be familiar with what works for you, which can affect personal satisfaction, health, and relationships.”

5 ways to practise edging at home

If you want to try edging, begin by paying close attention to how you feel just before orgasm and staying between the plateau and orgasm phases. The trick is to heed your body’s signals. Expect some trial and error — that’s normal.

Here are five approaches to experiment with:

First, the basic stop-start method:

Solo

1. Create the right setting. Lock the door, dim the lights, play music, use a diffuser for scent, and anything else that helps you relax.
2. Get physically aroused. Close your eyes and touch yourself until your penis is erect or your vagina is lubricated.
3. Begin masturbating. Stroke your penis, stimulate your clitoris, or do whatever normally leads you toward orgasm.
4. When you’re about to orgasm, stop. Remove your hands or slow your movements. Take deep breaths or open your eyes if that helps.
5. Refocus on what aroused you. Notice how your body changes: Are you tenser? Sweating more? Shaking?
6. Start again. Resume touching or masturbating until you’re near climax. Repeat steps 3–5 until you decide to let go.
7. Release. Allow yourself to orgasm. You may find the orgasm lasts longer or feels stronger. Pay attention to any differences edging creates.

With a partner

1. Arouse each other through preferred foreplay or positions. Try oral sex, G-spot stimulation, nipple play, or whatever increases arousal.
2. Have them be vocal or give cues about when they’re near orgasm.
3. Reduce or stop stimulation until they return to a plateau.
4. Resume stimulation and repeat step 3 until they’re ready to climax.

The squeeze technique (for people with penises):

1. Become aroused.
2. Stimulate yourself toward orgasm.
3. Just before climax, squeeze the head of the penis to halt ejaculation.
4. Wait about 30 seconds, then resume stimulation if desired.

Ballooning — a method used for premature ejaculation:

1. Locate a particularly sensitive spot on the penis and focus only on that area.
2. Move a finger in small circles around that spot.
3. Continue until fully erect and keep going until you feel close to orgasm.
4. Stop touching the penis before you orgasm.
5. Let yourself soften a bit, then stimulate that spot again until you’re near climax.

Repeat ballooning as often as you like but avoid orgasming. The technique aims to train control over ejaculation, so withholding orgasm is essential to its success.

Or try using a vibrator:

Some vibrators offer biofeedback about what your body is doing as you move the device in and out of the vagina and stimulate the clitoris.

With a vibrator, experiment with angles, depths of penetration, different vibration speeds and patterns, and more. Get creative.

What are the benefits of edging?

You may be wondering why anyone started doing this.

Edging can provide several advantages for masturbation and partnered sex:

1. Make orgasm easier, especially for people with vaginas

A study of 96 women indicated that those who masturbate are likelier to achieve orgasm. Much of this seems tied to anxiety about self-pleasure and sexual performance.

If you haven’t spent time learning your own body, you may not recognize what arouses you — and that can lead to unsatisfying sex and increased anxiety.

2. Reduce embarrassment by increasing body-awareness and confidence

A 2006 study of nearly 2,000 women reported that up to three-quarters experienced female sexual dysfunctions but felt too embarrassed to discuss them with a doctor, and many felt clinicians lacked time, interest, or training to talk about sex.

Edging can supply more personal knowledge and confidence for discussing concerns with a physician or partner, which may improve health outcomes.

3. Shift focus away from penetration for more varied partnered sex

A 2018 study of over 1,000 women found that about 36.6 percent can only orgasm from clitoral stimulation, while just 18 percent orgasm from intercourse alone.

These findings highlight why experimenting with techniques like edging is useful: it encourages exploration of multiple ways to experience pleasure. Even if you can orgasm from intercourse, learning to time your release can add variety and enjoyment.

When should you stop edging and allow yourself to come?

That decision is yours. If you’re alone, orgasm whenever you feel ready.

When with a partner, listen and communicate. Use words, signals, or a safe word to indicate when you’re ready to climax and to hear when your partner is ready. Listening is crucial.

Also be aware of the possibility of a half or disappearing orgasm. This occurs when you may not experience the full bodily contractions or sensations of orgasm, or you feel like you reach the edge but never fully climax even when you want to.

Timing stimulation to match the whole-body sensations of orgasm can be tricky, but don’t get discouraged — practice helps.

If you have a penis, you might feel like you’re about to ejaculate but the urge dissipates. You might also experience a sensation of orgasm without semen release, known as a dry orgasm.

Dry orgasms are usually harmless. They’re natural variations that don’t necessarily reflect sexual function or fertility. If you’re worried, consult a physician or sexual-health specialist.

Health and safety considerations

A condition called delayed ejaculation can come up in discussions like this. Often its effects are psychological due to the stress and anxiety around not being able to ejaculate when not intending to.

Another misconception is that edging causes epididymal hypertension, commonly called “blue balls.”

Claims of lasting harm from becoming aroused without ejaculating are overstated: blue balls do not have long-term health consequences. People with penises can often relieve the discomfort with the Valsalva maneuver — hold your nose and exhale until your ears pop.

A significant risk to consider is how you integrate edging into your sex life. If it becomes the central aim or priority in sexual interactions, it can create personal distress, reduce sexual satisfaction, and strain relationships. Never delay a partner’s pleasure without their consent. An orgasm doesn’t define a sexual encounter.

If you genuinely can’t ejaculate when you want to, seek medical or sexual-health advice.

Try it and decide for yourself

Sexual experimentation can help you learn more about what turns you on. Not everything will suit you, and that’s fine.

You won’t know until you try. Edging may feel difficult at first, but many people find the sensation of lingering on the “edge” thrilling — especially when you finally allow yourself to climax and notice an added intensity to the experience.