How to Safely Stretch Your Anus for Anal Play

Do us a favor and attempt the splits. Go on, we’ll wait.

Can’t do it? Most people can’t without considerable stretching and practice first.

Turns out, the same principle applies when you want to stretch your anus.

Like other muscles, the anal sphincter tolerates only so much stretch without training. If you want to make it more flexible, you’ll need to put in some effort.

What’s the purpose?

Pleasure, primarily.

The anus is packed with sensitive nerve endings that can make anal play intensely pleasurable. And the enjoyment isn’t exclusive to people with a prostate.

Anal training can make any kind of anal penetration feel pleasurable. It can also help you progress to larger toys and different types of butt play, such as gaping.

What’s gaping? You’ve likely noticed it in porn — a close-up of a butthole left wide open after being filled by a large plug or penis. That’s gaping, commonly tagged as HoleGoals.

Is it safe?

As with other sexual activities, it’s generally safe if you use sensible precautions.

The anus doesn’t self-lubricate like a vagina, and its tissue is thinner and more sensitive than other skin. That makes it more susceptible to tearing and infection, including sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Going slowly, using generous lubricant, and practicing safer sex techniques reduces the risks.

If you’re pregnant, have hemorrhoids, or have any condition affecting your anus or rectum, check with your healthcare provider before attempting anal training.

Is the effect permanent?

Nope.

Your sphincter’s primary role isn’t to house a giant plug; it’s to contract to retain stool and to relax when you’re ready to release it.

It will return to its usual function because that’s what it’s built to do.

So you won’t get ‘loose’?

Nope — no matter how large you go.

Besides tissue elasticity that allows contraction and expansion, mental relaxation is a crucial part of anal training.

Anal penetration becomes easier because you gain control and relaxation, not because your butthole permanently widens.

How far can you go?

Fairly far.

The average rectum is roughly 12.5 cm (about 5 inches) long, but it’s wiser to listen to your body than to fixate on that measurement.

Take fisting as an example. It’s possible for someone to work up to being fisted to the elbow if that’s something both people want to explore.

What tools can you use?

Fingers are a sensible starting point: begin with a pinky and progress up to multiple fingers or even a whole hand. Sex toys are another option.

Dilator

Anal dilators, also called rectal dilators, are medical tools used to widen the rectum after anorectal surgery to ease bowel movements.

Recreational dilators (available online) designed for pleasure resemble the medical ones, though their aim is a bit different, obviously.

The typical shape is smooth and cylindrical. They’re often sold in sets of five or more, each slightly larger—usually increasing by about a quarter inch—so you can incrementally progress.

Plug

It’s hard not to appreciate the butt plug for its efficient form. Most have a slim tip that widens into a bulb and tapers back, making insertion simpler and helping them stay comfortably in place during use.

A flared base prevents them from being drawn entirely into the rectum, sparing you from becoming one of those viral ER stories.

Plugs come in many lengths and widths, from small (like this) for beginners to intimidatingly large ones (like this) for experienced users.

You can also buy butt plug trainer kits online, for example this set.

Lifelike dildo

If you prefer a toy that resembles an actual penis, dildos are your best bet. They’re made in virtually every length and circumference so you can gradually increase size.

Fantasy dildo

Want some whimsy with your stretching routine? Fantasy dildos come in imaginative shapes — dragons, aliens, unicorns, even a thunder-god inspired hammer (like this).

What size should you begin with?

Don’t be a hero and start with something huge — you can quite literally injure yourself.

If this is your first time exploring anal play and stretching, starting with a small size is essential even if you think you can handle more.

In finger terms, begin with a pinky. For toys, a diameter of about 0.25 to 0.5 inches is a sensible entry point.

An anal training kit like this VuVatech set suits beginners well.

Other selection tips

Size matters, but here are additional factors to weigh when picking toys for anal stretching.

Material

Choose body-safe materials—look for items free of phthalates and BPA.

Silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass (Pyrex) are excellent choices because they’re nonporous and easy to sanitize.

Silicone has a bit of give, which can be kinder to beginners.

Weight

Weight typically isn’t a concern for dilators or dildos, unless you have wrist issues.

Butt plugs, however, are designed to stay in place. You’ll want enough heft so the plug remains seated, but not so much that it becomes uncomfortable.

Vibrations and other features

The variety of toys out there is staggering. Some include vibrations, warming features, or curves for prostate stimulation.

These extras aren’t necessary for stretching, but they can be a delightful reward for your progress.

How often should you train?

It depends on comfort, but a good guideline is once or twice daily, at least five days a week, for 5–10 minutes each session.

Stick with a size for 1–2 weeks before moving up. If insertion feels effortless and free of discomfort, you’re ready to increase size.

Which positions work best?

If you’re solo, lie on your side and use your dominant hand — the one you write with.

Try this:

1. Lie on your side with knees bent for comfort.
2. Reach around to your anus with your hand to insert your finger or toy.

With a partner, you have several options:

• Lie face down.
• Have your partner sit or kneel beside you.
• Get on your hands and knees.
• Have your partner kneel behind you.

How to prepare

Here are a few steps to prepare for an anal training session.

Try to have a bowel movement

Stool comes out of the anus — no surprise. Most fecal matter sits higher in the rectum, but anal play can trigger the urge to poop.

Emptying your bowels beforehand lets you go deeper and focus on the experience.

If you’re still shallow, consider a douche

If there’s too much stool in the lower rectum, shallow penetration may be all you can manage. A rectal douche can clear lower rectal contents and make deeper play easier.

They’re simple to use and inexpensive; you can buy one online.

If you’re going deeper, consider an enema

For penetration beyond 3–4 inches, an enema can flush residual stool from the rectum.

Enemas introduce liquid deeper into the rectum to fully clear it.

Enema kits are available online or at drugstores. Use them occasionally and according to instructions, and lubricate the tip before insertion.

Relax

You need both mind and muscles relaxed to prevent the sphincter from clenching.

Try a hot bath, a massage, or some extended foreplay to help you loosen up.

Be generous with lube

Apply plenty of lubricant to your finger or toy and around the anal opening. By generous, we mean thoroughly—akin to basting a Thanksgiving turkey.

Insufficient lube can cause pain and tears.

Silicone-based lubricants (available online) are superb for anal play because they’re thicker and last longer. If you’re using a silicone toy, however, pick a water-based lube since silicone breaks down silicone.

Avoid oil-based lubes because they degrade latex, which is a problem if you’re using condoms or latex gloves.

Natural lubes, like this Passion Lubes product, are gentle options for delicate skin.

Say no to numbing agents

Numbing agents raise the risk of overextending and causing serious injury. Discomfort helps you recognize when to stop or when it’s safe to progress. Also, anal training aims to acclimate your butt to the feeling of penetration.

Insertion and techniques

Once you’re relaxed and well-lubricated, it’s time to insert.

How to insert

Slow and steady is the rule. Begin by softly pressing your toy against the anal opening with minimal pressure.

When you’re ready:

1. Take a deep breath and increase pressure, gently pushing your finger or toy in.
2. Aim to insert about an inch over the course of 3–4 minutes.
3. If you hit resistance — totally normal — withdraw slightly, add more lube, and try again.
4. Once inside, move in gentle circular motions or slow thrusts.
5. Reapply lubricant every time you remove the toy and restart.

Plugging vs. thrusting

Thrusting means rhythmically moving a toy in and out, while plugging refers to inserting a butt plug and leaving it in place.

Circular motions help with stretching. Whether you add thrusting or stick to plugging depends on what feels pleasurable. Plugging also frees your hands for other stimulation, or allows you to train while your partner performs oral sex.

What if it hurts?

Mild discomfort as you adapt is expected. Adjusting depth, motion, or taking a deep breath can ease sensations.

If you experience sharp, severe, or throbbing pain, slowly withdraw. You can attempt again in a few days with a smaller toy or after better relaxation.

If pain recurs, consult a doctor to determine the cause.

What if there’s blood?

Minor spotting that clears quickly is likely not serious.

Seek medical attention if bleeding is heavy, continues more than a few minutes, or is accompanied by pain.

What if there’s stool?

Don’t panic. Everyone has a butt and everyone poops.

A small amount of stool is normal. Clean your hands and toy thoroughly, relube, and continue.

If you have diarrhea or a full bowel movement, pause to clean up and try again once your bowels are empty.

Aftercare and cleaning

Here are tips for after your training session.

Sanitize your toy

Always wash sex toys after use to prevent bacterial transfer. Most can be cleaned with warm water and soap, but follow the manufacturer’s care instructions.

Shower and soak

Take a quick shower first to rinse away any fecal matter or bacteria that may have entered the anal area.

Then enjoy a warm bath to relax and ease any soreness. Adding a cup of Epsom salts can help relieve tenderness.

How to tell you’re ready to upsize

Nice ambition!

As a rule, move up when you can insert a toy without discomfort or resistance.

Increase size gradually — about a quarter inch at a time — rather than jumping from a pinky to a penis in one go. Ouch!

What can go wrong if you do it wrong?

A few complications are possible if you’re careless. Not to alarm you, but here’s what might happen.

Fissure

An anal fissure is a tear in the lining of the anus or anal canal. You may see a crack or tear.

Symptoms can include:

• rectal bleeding
• pain
• foul-smelling discharge
• constipation

Hemorrhoid

Hemorrhoids are swollen veins in the anus and lower rectum. They can cause swelling, bleeding, pain, and itching.

Internal hemorrhoids inside the rectum can make bowel movements painful and lead to bleeding. Sometimes they can prolapse through the anal opening, causing additional discomfort.

Perforation

Perforation is possible and serious, though thankfully rare.

There are documented cases of colon perforation after inserting vibrators or foreign objects — even a zucchini — into the anus.

The takeaway

Anal training can help you master anal play and elevate your sexual experiences. When done safely, you can progress to comfortable, pleasurable anal sex or explore further into gaping or fisting if that’s your preference.